a d i o s

life had been "wow, so wonderful.."
like certainly wonderful.
living in my lalaLAND for more than 8 hours everyday.
of course it's wonderful.
the guilt after that never fails to last more than 2 hours.
dangg.. bet our dearest ah wong gonna come after me soon.

the journey seems to be really seriously ending soon.
how i wish i can hide myself in my room,
and really study.
but now i can sleep like anywhere..
tables, cold floor...
hate it.

the many regrets doesnt help.
the certs really seem like some shit-paper.
so what it's so nice when my grades are like bleahhh..
enough of complaints.

yesterday was Farewell Assembly.
some really boring parts but some really highly entertaing ones.
i really say BYE to all of you.
wonder what i will turn out to be in these last few weeks of M-I-A.
shall be like that...

A . D . I . O . S

down down down...

tonight my emotions are going haywire.
felt that im super-mean during tuition,
sheez, but that's not my nature kays..
after which it just went down down and way down.
been pretty long since i last felt like this.
having a long bus journey on a single deck doesnt help either
when i dont have any privacy [i know we arent supposed to have privacy on a PUBLIC bus]
dumb emo songs blasting into my ear drums
may someday i will self-disintergrate
and disappear from this world un-noticeably..
no pain for myself and those around me
but it just seems so impossible..
im really thinking too much i guess.
but i just cant help it.
hormones, stress and greater workload...
what else can i do except to let them all out alone on the bus.
da*n the strangers who saw me
was totally disastrous then..
luckily there's no cute guys! LOL..
well, i hate it..
why cant i just do what i think.
life is in a great mess now..

i really wish it would pass quickly
yet i dread this mega huge exams to be here so soon.
dang! what do i really want???