the past and future

i'm feeling so lost.
i have no idea whether i should like change my job
sometimes it gets really tiring,
but still the people there are really nice.
except for those moments when everyone got stressed up
and started cursing and swearing.
anyway,
i think i've already like made up my mind yesterday.
and gotten myself an interview today.
just hope everything will go on fine,
and less decision making on my part...!

when i went back to school the other day,
some nice and cute teachers started talking to me.
regarding those council days
working with another teacher.
im being asked,
"do i feel that i've grown up and learnt alot after those tough times?"
so he's like implying,
that the more difficult the times are,
the more you will get to learn.
well,
this seems like the hard fact of life.
i agreed with him,
and... ...
they are just getting feedback from me,
and trying to help my dear juniors.
perhaps perhaps... ...
i dont know how to continue..
maybe it's different thinking from the perspective when you've been through it.
cos you can only feel the bittersweet feeling,
and yet glad that you've chose to overcome it,
instead of getting help from it.
the main point is that,
maybe i should prove myself wrong,
and see how far my determination can bring me to??
but we should be thinking about our future?
or the present experience??

tell you i'm lost already...

even rainbows fades away...

i'm going in no direction.
where's the happy and optimistic me?
my happy-est teenage year??
all gone with the wind... ...