my conflicting thoughts.

the new sem has started long ago, and it's like the 3rd week. I oughta start doing some work, cos beginning to feel the lag and the guilt piling up. had so much to do, school work, biz mag shit, making appointment for my dental. andddd. errrhh. i think not really alot! hee. think im just lazy and more lazy. always complaining that im so bored, no shows for me to watch, having no life at all. in fact i think my work can really make me occupied if i were to participate in all.

supposed to go for some Openhouse Ambassador interview for our Union canvassing event. buttttt. i ponned, as usual. sorry. i just dislike making the extra effort to be enthu in stuff. you can call me slack or irresponsible. but you think i really care? heee. not exactly. think its harder for me to do things without a reason. seeing how my friends sell their lives to hall. just for a stay the next year. im sorry, i cant understand why people will do it. wonder where this cold attitude of mine come from. im now just happy with the friends that i've got in my life. enjoy my school life with my crazy coursemates, going home to slack all i want. this is a real pain when you start thinking for the future instead of the present. when people tells you that it's pointless to have abundance of friends and gatherings now, cos in future, you wont really keep much contact with them since all that's important is just the few good ones. im seriously hating those conflicting thoughts in my mind. the realistic side of me, or i should just go for the experience and so called "Living my life to the fullest."

so long since i last blogged, and here i am whining my mind away. feeling so boggled down with these nonsensical thoughts. not sure if it's just those darn hormones making me pms or is it really me that is going mad with too much free time. aisshh. another issue is if i should go for the Global Summer School. feels so tempted to go. it's again the conflict between Experience vs Reality. "Will there be any more chance when you can go overseas and stay for a month, and with friends around you, in future?" VS "Is it needed to spend like 6-7K for the one month just to clear my electives? should i waste all my savings on this?" "but money can be earned back in future right, but the experience cant!" another tempting factor is..... Cos it will be Korea if im going!! heeheee. sounds so exciting at the thought of Lotte World and all the travelling and new culture that i can adapt to! ohh mannnn. ottoke!??? sigghss. think to make some decisions before the date to apply. hope someone will really help me to come to a decision. or maybe lemme have a dream and convince me what i should do. else i would really flip the coin, and use the psychological methodology thereafter!

ps: think im pretty awesome at deceiving myself.

-what you want versus what you can achieve.-