life and it's conquers

I'm supposed to be conquering my mountains and mountains of tutorials..
but after attacking some of it
i cant get myself to continue it.

my weekends are like uber-ly boring
no more shoppings and long nappings in the afternoon.
no more using of com throughout the entire lazy sunday afternoon.
just lots and lots of brain damage by those awful tutorials.
came up with some lame cheer for the tutorials
[following the tune of the Awesome Miranda cheer!]

AWFUL oh wow!
like totally freaked me out
AWE-FUL-e
awful tutorials!
TOTALLY!!

i dont think it makes any sense.
but at least it humour me..

while i'm mugging hard,
few random thoughts came into my awfully damaged brain.

we, human always amplify the mistakes that others make
by sharing with others [aka bitching sessions]
by remembering those mistakes and forgetting those help they had provided in the past..
and NOT thinking what is the mistake you had committed YOURSELF..

one great example is when you lost something.
the first thing that come into your mind is who could have taken it
and not where had you last placed it..

i think im feeling guilty regarding this as well..
oh wells..
we gotta learn the best way is to learn from our mistakes
remember to forgive and forget the mistakes that others made
while to learn from those you had committed
wont life be better
wont the world be better
if everyone is to learn together...

i'm becoming more and more philosophical
that there's a point when i wish i could enter into someone else's brain
and change the perception he or she is thinking..
sighs..
knowing more
means having more to handle..

going back to my conquer..
i would not be affected..
no, i wont allow them to...

*****
maybe i needa do something drastic...
to change my life..
to the way i want it to be...
and not what you want it to be...

-am i as strong as i thought i would be??-