sigghs.

i need to really understand the meaning of playing hard and studying hard.

always having no mood to study is not a good excuse at all.

arrgh.

totally detest this feeling.

if others can do it, why can't i?

no matter how much i coop myself up in the room,

i will still do everything else but study.

why not create some incentive for me right

and work hard for it.

aiisshhh..

you will always have worries from somewhere or the other,

so what if you've stopped thinking about one,

the other one will spring out from somewhere.

sooooo..

fret not and let it be.

these are just part and parcel of my life.

sighhs...

-i love this place, but it's haunted without you...-

my oh so screwed recess week

recess week is here once again!

so much of a recess when it is used mainly to catch up on the never ending tutorials, quizzes and projects.

im being such a retard.

i sacrifice the thailand trip, thinking i would have more time to complete my work.

gladly, i would say

i could not have enough time if 3/7 of my week is spent on playing and shopping.

Soooo.. i've decided maybe i will just relax myself on wednesday night.

heehee, ladies night i meant.

BUDDENNN.. who knows i will wake up with a sore throat and headache.

nothing beats today being the first day of my special week.

thanks so SO much. hope you can sense the scarcasm.

how lousy could that be right, and so im here typing away about my retarded week.

now i've got time on my hand, but no mood for my work.

shall look forward to my saturday!

out with momma for facial and my besties for Dear John.

pray hard that my body wont come out with any stunts that make me stuck at home for the entire week.

and that my saturday would be so great that i will still look forward to my recess week next sem. yeah right!

pms time is over, great.

it's great being a women when you have the "rights" to have moodswing throughout the month

but not great when you need to suffer the cramps up down inside out.

so would i still wanna be a women if i were to get to choose?

yeah, definitely.

cos i cant understand how guys can stand being able to wear just jeans, berms or pants,

while women can wear dresses, shorts, skirts plus whatever guys can wear.

so would you wish you are born a lady too?

im just ranting on and on,

cos this beats doing my math tutorial.

just realised ive only got 18 AUs this sem,

as compared to my 22AUs last sem??

so by right,

i should be able to cope better yeah?

it don seems to equate well.

think im just procrastinating too much.

this shall be my last sem where i had to suffer with math and physics.

so so looking forward to next sem

which meant that i must do well in these subjects

if not they will haunt me again next yr!

so kelllyyy! shoo and be gone!!!

sometimes i wake up in the morning...

i cant remember the lyrics.

lol. lousyKelly!

-i wanna see a rainbow; a happy thing that makes me smile again...-

the secret somewhere...

conflict of emotions.

i don't know what i want to feel.

happy, sad, excited, bored, pissed??

not great quarreling with someone you will be seeing almost everyday.

luckily it's TGIF!

away from school and hall and everything not nice!

yesshh past the 12 midnight!

not sure who will be reading my blog

but who cares right.

not like it will bother me.

i think it will be affecting you more

muahahaha..

it's nice listening to people you know singing songs you like.

and it's nicely sung nothing more than that please(:

unwind the bad day for me pleaseeee!

i seriously don know what is it that you're thinking

cant you just stop being a complicated being?

-i have already freed myself long ago..-

muted

muted.

why talk for the sake of talking.

-i'll just let it go..-

arrhh deja vu

the feeling of deja vu is bad. really bad.

and not only that.

guilt and all that comes together makes it not any better.

im sorry that there's always a loser in whatever we do.

just accept the setback and move on in life.

no point talking so much about it.

and just pray hard that that dumb feeling will not come back again.

everybody would have said that we could have worked harder.

but who knows how hard we should work.

right???

bishhh! smack that! box your faceeeee!!! arhhhhh. feeling like screaming out loud to let all out!!!

this is totally such a wrong time for all these!

all will be over in 2 days.

that's the limit i give.

-i'm glad you won, doubt my presence will even matter.-

effective comm.

sometimes you wonder how people forget others so easily.

how they said something and forgot what they meant so soon.

when we all live in the whirlwind of confusion,

we are not sure whether to trust and believe in words that one say.

words from a friend meant so much more,

hence so hard to forget.

even though you want to.

nothing will happen if it dont meant to be yours.

but what about it that opportunity only come knocking once

and once you miss it,

it will be gone?

so ironic.

words can have so many meaning so many different context they can be placed in.

the subject that it is referring to, situations and stuffs.

as much clarity words can bring, but confusion comes along too.

i shall not hope for more,

shall not think so much.

yes i will not.

so much for effective comm lessons.

got the nicest bro-in-law! [ps: also cos i've only got 1! heeheee]

hahaha..

so nice to sms me to fetch me back to their house!

yippeeee!

make you lots of peanut butter sandwiches next time!!!

study hard now, kynan boy's time later!!!

wheeeee!

my big baby nephew turning three soon!

love him deep deep!

cutest boy i've ever seen!

how i wish everyone around me can be like him!

minus the monsterous part(:

HAPPY 3rd BDAY, babyyMONSTER(:

-since you've been gone...-

randommmss!

im losing my appetite.

seems like the time of the month has passed.

no craving for anything and what-not.

so sad.

cant enjoy the satisfaction of eating something that i've craved.

but good time to tone some flabby parts up!

aja aja!

i need to settle down and start studying hard.

so lazy these few days.

FB down in hall, hence im here blogging away.

luckily youtube is no longer of any distraction to me

since my show is over.

happy happy ending for hai pai.

and perhaps this applies to everything in the world eventually??

i don mind suffering in the process

as long as there is happy ending.

sooo kellyyy...

just doing the just-nice amount of work wont help.

if i wouldn't want to lag behind,

i better start my religiously mugging sessions.

life's hard as a student.

but i better enjoy these few years before they are gone and i lament about it.

arrggghhh KELLYYY!

studying isnt hard.

working is.

better do well and stop procrastinating!

kynan boy turning three soon!

what should i get for him?

or make for him?

since he's got zillions of toys and everything a kids want.

lots of lego, lots of thomas the train..

hmmmm..

think think thinnnkkk...

-so glad that girls are entitled not to know what they want(:-

life life lifeeee!

Life is full of cycles.
so much that sometimes we wonder how to make the best out of these cycles.
Life is full of chores.
so much that we wonder if we should still keep up to being responsible
and to keep to what we say.
Life is full of acquaintances,
but who are the true friends around us?

Learn how to discern between the many and the few, the minor and the major.
Major in the right areas and let the rest be minors.
Let yourself not be burdened by the wrong things.

I just have to break out of it, and accept life as it is.
it is just realistic, arduous, and filled with sadness.
Use the brightness to overcome whatever odds that we face.
Use the strength in us to endure whatever hardship that is in for us.

i may regret in whatever i've not done yet wanted it to done.
saying somethings may have made things better
doing somethings may have made things better,
but so what?
it's all over.
hopes gone are gone forever.
Look on and look forward, dearieKelly!

-success grows out of struggles. so true yet so hateful...-

right and wrong

i shall bare with it for a while more.

time will fly and who knows it will be over soon.

meanwhile, just take it as im accumulating some good karma(:

gogoKELLY.

ENDURE!

*****

all will turn out fine, seriously..

why worry so much when it isnt bothering anyone.

How many rights will be needed to make a wrong right?

crankkyyy!

a good good bath seriously does wonders.

my week hasnt been very smooth sailing.

i may seem perfectly fine.

but deep down inside i know it still hurts a little.

never mind,

so much of learning from mistakes.

mistakes in trusting.

never do you need to be accountable for whatever you say.

others need not be accountable for what they say too.

some may just be passing comments.

learn how to differentiate it and learn how to listen and forget about it.

it matters even more when it's a girl doing it to you.

you keep quiet doesnt mean everything is fine.

it's just that you dont wish to lose anything in that friendship.

you know too well how similar the person is to your character.

so much similar that you can think what is going through her brain.

but so what.

you just have to keep quiet and bear with it.

she knows that irritates you.

but she likes doing it.

why should i bother so much or be bothered about it when i can just live on my life.

and wait for the phase to pass.

enjoy while it last.

and forget about the unhappiness.

so easily said but done.

thanks.

said my piece.

need my sleep.

cleared it outta my mind .

and now gonna fight my virus in my dreams.

life and its cycle

exams are over,
hols are half gone,
new sem coming soon.
and the dreadful cycle is repeating soon.
why is life so repetitive?
i cant answer for that is just the meaning of life.

-when can i see my rainbow...?-

clubbb!!!

it's raining out there.
my nose is making it's own mini thunderstorm too.
my paper toss is improving so much then i can beat my itouch game score.

first uni exams are coming real soon.
1st sem is ending real soon.
1 more month to go.
today shall be the last saint day that i will have.
going clubbing with girlies later.
after which is just pure studying=)
love it when i understand the modules.
since it's something i chose,
shall do well in it.
but some mods are just plain irritating and absolutely GREEK to me.
physics is an apt example.
shall not complain and love it just as much.
remember bell shape curve!!
if you cant do it well others cant too!
hahahaa.. so cancel out=)
oh wells,
self motivating yeah=))

think im growing as the day pass.
not sure if it's just the stress and pressure for me to do so.
but think i will slowly lose the touch in communicating with friends of the same age.
at times i cant stand them
but as i grow out of the teenage years,
they will to in time to come.
so endureeee...!
uni life never make me seem like a teenager.
think ive stepped out of that mindset once i started sch.
i need some of my girl crazy moments back!
those small little things that can make my day.
as simple as that..
slowly and surely
i can find them=)
gotta go prep!
girly night out! <3
enjoy myself
and fill my enjoyment meter ttm
make it last for the entire month!!!

-i seek and ponder around...-

running and running!

think my eyelids are gonna sag like don know what in future.
whenever im tired i will just rub my eyes.
and i keep rubbing and rubbing
though it does no help to keep me awake.
BAD habit!

volunteered at Nike Human Race=)
satisfyingggg.. but tiring!
totally shagged, irritated and the list goes on..
but it's happy to motivates others=)
especially seeing the smiles on them after getting my cup of drink
FILLED with love and motivation=)
high man!
and they continued running and running...

ran X-campus too=)
happy happy=)


*****

why should you bother to put in so much effort when you'll be ignored

or forgotten even..

the fast pace of our lives doesnt allow us to spend so much time

wondering and pondering about things..

-i shall forbid myself in doing so...-

how i wish..

how i wish i can fall sick,

to get some guiltless sleep.

how i wish i can take a long ride to no where
and see the world go past me..

how i wish i can be less distracted.

how i wish i can see a rainbow once more...

how i wish how i wish,

how i wish i never was here...

-and it had just begun...i need to get back the momentum...-

my longest posttt!!!

whoohoo!!
boohooo!!
recess week coming to an end.
i've relaxed enough,
had enough gatherings.
now shall study hard and not lag behind anymore!
although i've hardly caught up with my work!
lol.
time is never enough for me.
im so easily distracted if not sleepy.
grrrrr..
i can do it i can do it!
must give myself the strength to psycho myself into accomplishing my to-do-list.
if not it will stretch longer and longer.

Here's my recess week in summary=)
most of the photos are up on FB!
im getting used to FB and it's intrusiveness!
Monday- Studying over at KC's hall. erm.. we ended up playing cards with hj and roomie at like 2am? but next day is our shopping day, so sleeping time still suffice!

Tuesday - SHOPPING DAYYY!!.. totally love that day. when we acted like we're tourists around singapore. giving us the chance to do all the unglam stuff. we went into Etude house at ion orchard with clean nails, and came out with colourful nails and even posed with a photo with Lee Min Ho [standee] hahahha.. were dead tired when i returned back to hall to mug mug muggg...

Wednesday - QING GONG YAN! woke up early to start studying, thereafter proceeded to CCK. was wearing all my shopping heist=) dress, accessories and bag even! think i will die when im moving back hall. it got more things than my real home i think! and my real room is messy enough alr! deadd-ed! Qing gong yan for pageant was nicceee.. after that was Time-Traveller's Wife. It's touching enough to make me cry. Thinking if i would want to know my future and when i will die, maybe i will choose yes? so that i can plan and make full use of my time, spending the calculated hours with my love ones. but... am i strong enough to live those hours strongly will be another matter. celebrated KB's bday too. and sometimes i hope my bday never come, with all the things they do to the bday boy. hahaha. maybe girls will be pampered instead of sabo-ed?? niccceee=))

Thursday - mug mug muggg the whole day until i went over to jiejie's place at night! BIL was really niceee.. came over to fetch me! save my time travelling on the uber long 199. hehee.. and the reward after the whole day of mugging was playing with kynan! he's super cute can! seriously grown up boy. seeing him doing his get-home routine. from washing his feet, hands, bathing and eating.. seems so well-disciplined! hahahaa. and UN-pampered! lol.. think school really does him good. and he can converse really well. understands us plus he will start his own conversation trying to get across what he meant=) jiejie and mh, you all did a good job man! maybe i haven seen his "DARK side" for a while=))) hahahaa.. and he camwhored with me! totally cute for a 2 year old! i will just do some poses and he help me take the photos. after that i will get my cam back and he will imitate me! nice way to get a lil kid to pose for you!

Friday - and my week slowly comes to an end.. more mugging before going home and tuition. my tutee's exam coming soon. and her foundation kinda weak.. although her newer chapters are fine.. let's see how she fare! and W6 had our yearly Mid Autumn Festival at the same O place. this year more tamed down, it's more of a chat under the moonlight. with less kids around and stuffs. yeahh, camwhored plus candles and all the secrets and highly sensitive questions! thanks to our blur meimei. "KBKBMW" our initials put together=)

and now.. it's back to studying! Physics CA on monday. shall called it CA instead of quiz. cos the quiz makes it sound so easy and not important when it actually is! Prof trying to con people again! shall work hard for the movie at the end of the day! going to watch movie with the girlies! late night saturday movieeee!!! whheeee!! kelly is self-high-ing again!

-Share the love. Spread the joy...-

ps: this kinda post is once in a million years! think this is so JK-ish. lol.. next time bah=))

term shopping!!!

back in my own hall today.
went for our long waited shopping trip!
dearest kc and i went down early in the morning
erm.. actually leaving her hall at 11am is considered early!
hehe, to ion orchard.
we went for Swensens at ion orchard
it was aawwweesoommee!
really pigging out at the ice cream and pies.
erm..
but the cakes weren't very fantastic.
ice cream was definitly the best!

made full use of our sugar rush at far east
when we really shopped till we dropped.
we werent very satisfied with the shopping there
and decided to proceed to Bugis instead.
both of us were already half dead
from the night's games, lack of sleep and the lack of proper food!
we still survived Bugis without sitting down to eat.
hahaha,
and we really spent alot.
like since we started school we've been cooped up in the pulau NTU.
retail therapy really works wonders=))
when we walked out of bugis street,
both of us were no longer talking.
from the absolute high-ness to the silence.
totally hilarious.
we were laughing over dinner about this.

after recharging with some overpriced and yucky food court food,
we rushed back to school for her hall event.
we continued with our movie on my itouch.
Made of Honour.
Relatively nice show,
erm.. romance plus chick flick??
but the show occupied us on friday on our way back to bedok
and today to and fro to town.
certainly makes our time fly!!
shall make full use of my itouch when im booted out of hall next year!
lol..

alrrighhhtt!!
finally a proper post=))
needa go back to my mugging after my bath.
back in my own room..
well oh wells,
either way i will still waste time.
aaarrgggg grrrrrrr..
oh shut up kelly!

-Tolerance and determination requires constant practice..-

KYNAN BOY!!!

my bro in law randomly nudge me to give me this link!

totally make me feel better X10000000 times!
see the pretty eyes!
it just make me melt..
too bad i missed the playtime with him last sunday=(((

XOXO!

HALLxv! my foot!

think everybody is so practical.
all around me.
you know someone because that person can help you in one way or another.
this is so hateful.
experiencing it myself.
so much of consoling my friend the previous week
and now im the one in her shoes.
life's a dread
cos of all the people around.

i think i should just not get involved in any more hall activities.
the more i hang around here the more depressing it gets.
seriously.
i betta get out of here before i scream and tear the roof down!

thought i could spare some time and have a nice dinner
to distract me from my irritating quizzes.
never did i know it will turn out irritating me more than my studies.
how bad can that be,
you guys must be thinking.
but never mind..
it's just affecting me alot.
simple things like this may not mean anything to other people.
but i meant how little i am to you guys.
it's just proving my point.
the MRT route from bedok to boon lay seems so much more attractive to me now.
shall go get my bath and stop thinking.
think this time alone is allowing all the feelings i kept inside to overflowww...
overflowwinnggg...

it's so much easier to have a dog as your friend. at least you know that he's always beside you listening to you. giving you all the attention you want in his world. kaiser!!! shall smuggle you to my hall someday! hahahaha!! as if! missing kaiser! feel like hugging him tightly to sleep and never be bothered about such nonsense.

-these are never worth the emotions. remember my half filled/half empty bottle...-

highhh!

im still online!!!

so dead. 

having 2 quizzes on wednesday

and im so stuck on that single page.

computers are such a lousy invention!

hahahaa..

went online shopping!

one of the blogshop finally updated=)

whheee..

no more emo post for today.

hahaha.

blabbing away in my previous paragraph.

im supposed to be studying for my quizzes.

stayed in hall on friday night, 

and studied in kc's hall=)

until like 5am

but went supper,

BUT THEN...

tea ping only=)))

nice nice chat though.

went back on saturday night,

and i haven been studying since saturday!

had tuition from morning to afternoon.

dont know how i manage to waste so much time

but i still did it!

lol.

but slot in 1 hour of shopping in between=)

bought my purple itouch cover and a purple laptop sleeve!

yeahhh!!

purple and gay!

that's like my msn nick now,

and there's like more than 5 ppl asking me what it meant

what so difficult to get what it mean?

cant get it.

lol.

shall mug hard later at night!

aim to finish my material's science!

my lovely lil subject=)

before taking on my lovable elective, AIR QUALITY MANAGEMENT!

please choose your electives wisely in future=))

*note all the lovely and lovable words that i used!*

must love my subjects to have the patience for them=)

yeahh yeahh!

KELLY KELLY gogogo!!!!

shall form my own lil kelly cheearleading team!

who cheers kelly on whenever she's down.

and make her happy and high again=))

oh yah,

and i've decided to stop going for cheerleading.

since i dont think i would have the time to commit so much in future.

though i would love to.

think it's really an enjoyable sports.

all the stretching and stuffs.

and im slowly enjoying myself standing on another person!

and being more than 2m tall, 

walking around..!

furthermore, all the stretching certainly help to make me more flexible.

sigghss..

making myself more confused.

but no people around to really make me wanna stay

nor do i have much a choice with my piling up work!

yeahh,

since it's already decided!!!

so be it!

shall mentally prepare myself to go to and fro from bedok to boon lay in year 2!!

shall end here and get a bath and start working!!

gogogo kelly!!!

-people come and people go.. as easy as it can be..-

me and my emotions

finally blogging after eons.
havent had the mood nor time to blog for the past few weeks.
time really flies.
how to catch more time when it doesnt allows me to.
shall not complain.
cos it wont be of any use.

yeah, week 6 is almost up.
left with 2 hours of lessons tmr.
this is the dont know how many thursday night i've burnt.
all my thursday night are dedicated to my beloved math.
im just getting stuck in whatever i'm doing.
and end up copying from the tutorial class the next day.
oh wells..
how much i love work as compared to school.
the grass is always greener on the other side=(
spent my entire day on math online lecture.
hopefully the tongue twister Limits chapter wil make more sense to me.
2pm to 3am.
total enthusiaism in mathematics.
how i wish effort = results..

*****

been pondering alot for the past week.
wondering why the older we get the less emotions we sense.
is it that we are numb to these emotions or is it that we're living a pace of life that is too fast that we can't stop and think about what is happening and what to feel? if i were to compare my life of emotions to a glass bottle of tears, i've got a feeling the bottle is dried up. no matter how much i think, i still cant get some things outta my head. let it be stuck inside and clog up my cute lil spongebob=( and my brain will not be as absorbent and cute as spongebob. at times, i seriously feel like running up to someone close and sob real hard in a tight hug. like a lil kid who just fell down on the concrete pavement. but i doubt i have that much tears left in me to have a good cry. kelly, life doesn't work that way.. grow up and accept it..

in the new phase of life, the transition, the adaptation, the more different faces i see, the more different sides of the many different faces the more complex my life gets. i just cant stop myself from thinking too much. my spongebob refuse to be inactivated. cant help it. more time spent with people around me, the more things i see about them. i could only accept it and regard it as whom they are. what i really want, i'm also unsure. fickle-minded kelly. shall TRY to continue to live in my world. my peaceful one. think this goal can only be accomplished when im in my lalaLAND. but im still glad i always have someone i can turn to. just hope the reliance on each other will never die off.. sound so les-sy.. but who cares! having a girlfriend to turn to as and when needed is really a heaven among the hell. whoever who said that uni is a breeze ought to be shot! so much of play and chiong at the end.. as if it works that way when we need to go back and listen to lectures again in our own time. nonsense. anyways, shall not get pissed over nothing. dont waste the little emotions i have=P

i smile at the thought of your presence
the many years of friendship we have
i know,
will be strong enough
to bring us through our difficult times
let's hold on there together, girly!

if i were to really set my ideal standards of a true friend, maybe i can count them in 1 hand??
reality is never equals to ideality.
kelly, just give up trying to make your ideas ideal..
*in the process of brainwashing... ...*

shall stay in hall over the friday night.
my own world on the mountain top!
ajar ajar hwaiting!!!

-Reliance. You will never get enough of it.-

jay chou "cai hong" keep ringing in my head... =((

i got a feeling..that the night gonna be a good night...whoo hooo..