my worthy-ness

im seriously not keeping to my resolution of not opening up my google chrome. see where am i now. hahahaha. the only resolution that im keeping to is sleeping 8 hours a day. cos i really feel refreshed the next day! but seems like my project stopping me from doing that too. the people around me ain't exactly the optimum influence that i would like, but i can do it the other way round by being the good influence instead right. exams is like THIRTY EIGHT days away! awesome shittt. i can only think of what happens AFTER the exams insteaddd! LOL i need to have something for me to look forward to, maybe thats how i did so well for O's.

ive been trying to have the same O's feelings back. how i managed to do so well, what i did. some of you may ask, why not the A levels, since its closer. simply, cos i screwed it up! hahahaa. blame no one but myself. guess im not consistent enough? but ive been trying to make that into a lesson learnt. but im still lazy at times): howhowhowww. sometimes i just feel like giving up. trying so hard, but i still cant grasp the concept. my friends not exactly someone i can turn to. how i wish i could go back to the good o secondary days, when i can always turn to my classmates and of course KC when im in doubts. teachers were also easily available. uni is a bitch. the prof always say that they are willing to help, but they go overseas during holidays, they are busy and yada yada. you get what i mean. they just have their own life too. their commitment level is perhaps 5% of their life? cos that's the lecture time that they need to put in to get their paycheck? hahahaaa. im being cynical. rooars. and i just force myself to listen to the lecture recording over and over again. hoping i can extract some important info that ive missed out earlier on. awesome sheeeeeet, kelly.

im supposed to be here trying to brainwash myself into studying. butttt. seems like it turns out to a complain session instead! my nose not at a optimum condition to mug, and ive taken an expired clarinese pill! will sth happen to me?? i think my body mass will be able to block out whatever harm the expired pill will do to me right! hahaha! optimistic muccch!

after reading the HOTA letter, i think im maybe much more worthy to the society when im not around! they make me feel like my organs are so wanted by some useful but ailing people out there! not that im not happy with living and im definitely NOT suicidal! its just a thought of mine.. since im not contributing much to the society much now. maybe more carbon dioxide emission? heh. i was telling karo, that i wanna donate my face too. to burn victims or one of the not v pretty snsd member. hahahaa. then she said i need plastic surgery): tsktsktsk.

the lame jokes are like the only life i got left.

-you aim among for the moon to land among the stars.-