my rantings

someone asked me today, something along this line..
"if i were to give you a chance to decide again, would you still take the piece of form?"
i sorta confidently answered,
yes..
because of the presence of the close friends i've gained from this journey.
because of the experiences that really made me a stronger and better person.

*****

another person said to me something along this line as well.
"i should just learn to be another person,
but i must still be a person that i would like in future."

*****

i've said to someone..
"if i do not care as much,
just like some people,
maybe i would not be hurt as much."

*****

somethings touched me very easily
while others anger me too.
some people can really just say some brainless stuff
and not do all the necessary basic stuff
and think they're the best.
i really cannot cannot stand such people.
when they could really say things and not think
and NOT do things..
simple things like taking people words seriously cant even be done
let alone great things.

the higher one go, the greater the your mistake will be amplified.
but i dare say you guys are just not good at all
cos after all it's just an empty shell that's so hollow.
the substance i thought was there was not there already.
please convince me that your true qualities were there all along
and prove to me that i was wrong now...
the more you expect of someone,
the more disappointed you will be.
i think it's just the complacency that gotten into some of you.

my ideologies back again:
if all the "don't-bother" and "don't-dare-speak-up" group's presence is not appreciated
even the "neither-here-nor-there" group will not wish to speak up.
cos whatever they say,
the "noisy" group will just be so defensive all over again
and whatever they say will not be taken into consideration again.
over time,
if the "noisy" group can sustain ALONE,
then it's great.
if not,
it's better to reflect and do something..

if the "noisy" group can learn,
so can the "neither-here-nor-there", "don't-bother" or "don't-dare-speak-up" groups
we should learn from all the recent rallies.
if one wish to lead,
you need to start from the bottom and be among the crowd
in order to lead.
you wont understand how we feel if you think you are just HIGHLY up there
if you think you are up there because of your capabilities,
better think again
shouldn't it be the opportunities your friends had given you??

i think many people will get what i'm trying to say.
i've learnt that it's better to say things out rather than keeping it within.
i'm not a NOBLE person who's trying to help others improve.
and i dont wish people to think of me as it.
cos im just an unhappy person ranting out my accumulated frustrations.
im just stating what i think.
now i could only learn how not to be so affected
and i'll laugh it off as a passing joke
my sarcasm level in my daily conversation had really improved alot
and i must thank all the trauma i've going through.

i could only force myself not to think about it.
cos i just wanna end it off at a good and happy point..
i believe that you will keep remembering the bad memories,
but it's the good memories that will stay longer in you...


*****

just something to end off:

i wish i could be of that innocence.
the simplicity in thoughts
and doing things just because i'm afraid of what other think of me
but what my gut feelings leading me to.
i can thus reflect upon myself clearly
just as clear as what the water will show.
the innocence that never lies.

[and innocence is not childish!]

-i found my old long-lost friend back in you again...-