addiction

had a screwed up afternoon in bedok lib.

went for my lunch as per normal leaving my stuff there.

and when i came back, my stuffs were shoved aside by 4 sec sch delinquents): tsktsk. the worse thing is that they werent even studying properly. and mentioned that the librarian told them no booking of seats. this is like my first time this kinda thing had happened since i started mugging there in sec sch! totally felt wth at that moment. wanted to like screw her eyeliner eyes out. yeah. sec sch with eyeliner in sch uniform. totallyyy. pissed. never mind. shall not bear any more grudges else i will grow older and more wrinkles for nothing. went to a super noisy mac instead. managed to complete some tutorial and went home. sigghs. cos it was raining so heavily that i can get home): rainy days' curse. but the chilly weather was awesome. listening to my fav songs walking home. reading to my novel. new jodi picoult novel. hope its not like another sadistic story that got me crying for hours :X and i got addicted into it!

must control myself! and discipline! ive come to a conclusion. you must have the heart and mind to study. the environment doesnt matter much. shall try mugging at home! TRY! hahaa. hope the weather will stay cool and nice! my room is good when ive got the whole house to myself! peace with the occasional snores from old kai. hahaha.

tmr is half day of fun, while thurs is just projects! hope we can be efficient and not waste time. organised the day for project. hope my coursemates wont find me domineering or what. im just trying to finish things fast kkies.

i need some patience. sometimes i cant stand things going too slowly. kelly, you need to slow down and catch some breath at times too. i guess i just do these in my own time. to avoid wasting others people time? isnt that better?

im getting more independent. slightly more i guess. i used to dread eating lunches or dinner on my own. even in hall, if i need to eat it alone, i will eat it while watching my video. especially dread eating in the coffee shop or hawker centre on my own. once i remembered watching videos on my itouch while eating. i guess this is a weakness in me? or just something i hope to stay away from. and on monday, i did it! hahaha. without thinking too much actually its alright. i hope i can let this independence stay in me!

-the novel i read mentioned about forgiveness. i shall practise what i preach. -