wasted my entire morning and afternoon again and you know it's for what reason.
slept early in the morning like 1plus in the wee hours of the morning
was actually very sleepy before kc and grace came over to jw's house to stay at 11 plus.
but when they came...
we got back to the ALL-TIME-FAVOURITE topic! SOCCER FINALS!
yeahhness~~
and i'm wide awake by then already..!
back to rehearsals.
i've finally managed to say all my woes[or maybe there's somemore]
to my "favourite" teacher, MOT
and came to realise
it's not really within their control sometimes
and because there's somemore dumberER people above them
and the whole theory of tarnishing the school's image when we are to screw up during these 2 HIGHLY-PRESTIGIOUS ceremonies when there's so manymany important people.
the ugly side of human: the super SUPERFICIAL side of us.[see that i use the word "us", cos i believe everyone will do it no matter what]
noticed some difference in the teachers.
maybe there's some feedback to them??
they climbed the dungeon-like stairs with us.
reflections reflections....
but still i have RAMBLINGS:
what's the point of them saying so much words of appreciation when their actions doesn't say what it should.
and when they say that they appreciate us,
it makes me even more doubtful of it.
though it's not the entire group of teachers not showing it,
but they are still considered as one
so blame it on the black sheep in the group
who is so unsensitive to other's feelings
who cares if you cant feel anything
i feel ridiculed
i feel insutled
i feel ashamed to be USED to be under you
though you are good at work, SO WHAT.
so what if you cant get along with HUMAN
when that's the basics of the basics.
if that's who you are,
sorry i cant accept for who you are.
i feel extremely pissed after the incident and regretted deeply
that i should just stomped off and do whatever i like
since i've already listened to the instructions
and they cant do anything to me
if im against it.
so what if you have different expections.
it's just so ridiculous to be so extreme can.
people must just be so stratified.
it amuses me as well
when they can just leave their fellow team mate out
when they always tell us to mingle around during our events
i sympathized with "her"
and i'm proud of "her"
at least she can sit amongst us ALONE and still get along with us well.
but i'm happy for "her"
as she wont be influenced by the rest of them
when they can just sit down and "discuss" about people
just like what we like to do.
but still,
i've to thank them for the important lessons i've observed from them
the ugly side out there in the society when we are working.
at least it proves to me that it's better to be alone than with the group
i see and learn
i learn and i keep quiet
that doesnt mean i'm oblivous to anything.
it's the same,
being happy out there
doesnt mean im feeling that in here.
sorry, i'm just seriously unhappy with too many things deep inside and i cant get them out verbally, and i've yet to come to a decision. MANY thanks to qiani and jojo who's there when i'm complaining. and qiani, you're observant, damn NICE skills!! hahaa!
*****
now onto a happier note!
last day of school for the term.
decisions decisions again
and i did not feel guilty for what i did
i dont have any intention to apologise
cos i think i know what i'm doing
i know what's my motive of choosing that
i'm just moving towards my goal
and that includes not wasting time
if i can put my time to greater productivity myself
i'll do it.
i'm responsible for my actions.
soccer finals!
went high high high!!
and we won!!
national champions!!!! woohoooo!!!
happy happy for the guys and our school
i like the school spirit in us that day
especailly when so many of them felt forced to come
and they reluctantly stood up in the last few minutes
minus the minorities,
i can feel the school spirit around me
when the time-out whistle went off
and we just went crazy!
i feel the success in the objective of soccer cheering.
so what if the cheering wasnt good in between.
at least i think this is one event that the JC2 can vividly remember
memories of emotions can definitely be held on longer than that of memories of actions.
i will definitely miss soccer cheerings
the last had came and went
and it holds many happy memories
cheering with crazy old mama that day
last time with rach, jojo, qiani, weewee, teow, miao miao, charlene
and so many others...
our crazy and fun moments
at least before the debrief.
it's all of a history...
rainbows are just many many colourful memories...
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