emo emo

i think ive lost interest in lots of things recently.
blogs no longer interest me as they used to
communication which i once thought to be of utmost importance
but now i just hope to be silent
im pretty sure now isnt my low period
but god knows why im feeling like that now.

took a long bus ride home alone
those familiar yet forgotten bus rides
i like the feeling of it
i relish this type of feeling
when i used to do in the past
passing the many stops which i used to frequent in secondary school.
those people i used to hang out with
those many many times...

can i just be allowed to sleep and never wake up?
i think ive used up all my positives during my exams
that now im so charged up with negativities.
i feel like a fake being so optimistic in front of my friends
giving them the strength
encouragement
when i think i will help myself for being optimistic as well
but i think it works otherwise

getting results back aint a good thing
when one period after another
they results arent as satisfying as it's supposed to be
when you know you've put in the effort
but still they are the same as ever..

i think it's been rather long
since i wrote this type of entries
when i no longer have the strength to question
about life and all the blemishes in it
well,
a change for the worse??

ive been thinking about some things that a person said
the person is definitely beyond expectations
well,
but it does wake me up
and i think that's very necessary for me.
as much as i seem so discerning about certain things
they still affect me in some ways

can i believe that crying takes away energy from one?
cos i always feel so tired and sleepy
after draining all the tears out of me
after the movies also..
yess... see the S!
that's beside the point.
im feeling so tired and sleepy now
though i just slept just now
you should guessed why..

*****

im glad im going over to my sis place to stayover for the weekends.
maybe being in another part of the lil sunny island
a new environment
makes me more uncontactable and can bring me out of all these sorrows.
especially with the BIG kynan boy.
yepp! his mummy says he's no longer a baby boy :)

to his dearest mummy: you shouldnt be sad that you didnt hear him call you, it's cos you're always by his side that he doesnt need to. doesnt it makes sense? he's a smart lil boy and definitely knows how to do it, just that he knows that it's not necessary.. and always remember his adorable actions and gaga language when fatigue gets overwhelming okays.. at least you know who you are working so hard for...

*****

i think some things are just not suitable for now
this time of life time always seems to be slipping past way too fast
so fast that it never seems enough.
i think ive neglected some people.
i think things have also changed because of it
chatting no longer seems as easy as it seem.
dont think too much if it's you or not,
cos i think this is referring to too many people
that im not sure either how much people ive neglected.

*****

can i just fall asleep tonight
and never wake up...?

*****

i adore rainbows
it makes me realise how beautiful nature can be
it makes me feel important to be true to oneself
but i never see them..
cos i think it just means being true to oneself is just as tough...